This beautiful baby girl joined the Heffernan family June 27, 2011 and left this earth July 5, 2011 at just 8 days old. Her name is Elise Maria and I love her so much. She was born to Brian's youngest brother Craig and his wife Andrea on a Monday morning at 5:09am, just minutes after arriving at the hospital and weighed 6 pounds and 3 ounces. She was 4 weeks early and looked like a perfect and beautiful baby girl. She wasn't breathing on her own when she was born and she was rushed to UCLA Medical Center. In the NICU, an MRI showed Elise had suffered a severe lack of oxygen to her brain two weeks before her birth and despite efforts to stimulate brain activity she could not survive on her own.

There is no silver lining here. It is a tragedy we are struggling to make sense of and it remains a mystery as to why this happened. It has made us all pause and thank God for our family and slow down a little to find more patience for our babies and enjoy the moments we have with them.

What I do know is that I have never been more proud to be a member of the Heffernan family. There is so much love and support and selflessness between the siblings and extended family. Everyone literally stopped what they were doing as soon as this happened just waiting to hear what we could do or how we could help. Everyone mobilized to make it down to LA when Craig and Andrea extended the invitation to meet Elise for the day and we are all so thankful for that time with her and a very sad but very special day together we will never forget. Elise easily won a place in our hearts where she will remain forever.

Craig and Andrea have been incredibly strong and I admire their love so much. They stayed by Elise's bedside for 8 days and nights taking care of her, reading her children's stories and telling her how much she is loved. They made sure her sister Isabel and her brother Thomas got to meet and spend time with her. They opened the NICU room to us all and shared her with us. Craig is so patient, gentle and kind. Elise was so lucky to be held and cared for by his loving strong hands. Andrea is so passionate, nurturing and strong. Whatever or whoever she surrounds herself with she gives 100% to and will go to the ends of the earth for her children- Elise felt that fire and felt that love.

I don't know how to chronicle the experience we've had over the past two weeks but here are a few photos from meeting Elise on that special day and from the services to send her to heaven with our love.

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I felt very privileged to meet my sweet little niece Elise Maria

Craig and Andrea tenderly making an imprint of her hands and feet to match her sibling's framed prints.

Dad assisting in Elise's first bath

and her doting mom Andrea taking good care of her around the clock

Isabel brought Francie in to proudly introduce her to her baby sister Elise

Andrea drove through traffic to get the hand and footprint frame for Elise and picked out a little outfit for her from Janie & Jack - we got to watch her first bath and change into her new clothes for family to meet her

a big Heffernan hand (Mark's I think) on tiny Elise Maria

Thank you for allowing us to come meet her, hold her and love her while she was here Craig and Andrea. It was such a special day and there was so much love in the room.

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We went down to LA Monday and Tuesday for a rosary and funeral services for Elise. They were powerful and beautifully planned, down to every last detail- Andrea made this flower arrangement for her daughter with Zinnia's she grew herself in their front garden.

Andrea put some of the pictures of all of us with Elise to this song that was so perfect…

"From Where You Are"

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

Craig and Andrea - I so admire them for their strength, love for their children and love for each other. They have such a sweet relationship and the love for one another is evident in the way they are completely there for each other especially through an incredibly hard time and in the sweet gestures they exchange and the thoughtful gifts they have given to each other that fill their home. I'm so glad they have each other to get through this.

All the friends and family who loved Elise for her short 8 days of life and will continue to love her and remember her

A family so full of love

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Aunt Barbara, Aunt Francy, Andrea and Oma spending some time together at Craig and Andrea's house after the funeral services and reception

Janie with Jannie who loves Andrea dearly flew down to be there for the funeral Tuesday (Craig and Andrea used to camp out at Jannie's house when they visit and we lived in our little house) Andrea and Jannie share a love of complicated knitting patterns and projects

Francy and Kat- Katherine wrote a beautiful letter to Elise about how special, quirky and loving her parents, brother and sister are. She did a great job reading it at the Rosary service for Elise

Rock Star Oma. An incredibly selfless and dedicated Mom/mother-in-law/grandmother- she flew down to LA with a moments notice when Elise was born and has been sleeping on an air mattress for two+ weeks cooking meals, cleaning house, taking care of kids, airport shuttling visitors, keeping us updated and helping organize everything without tiring. We love you Oma

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And the cousins… some of them understood the heaviness of the time and what we all lost and some of the littler ones just loved being around their cousins. Francie has been asking lots of questions about why Elise died and they are hard to answer. Maisie is too little to know what happened. The weight of Janie in my arms makes me thank God for a healthy baby but at the same time feel makes me feel so guilty and confused and leaves me asking why. Janie and Caroline were supposed to have another little buddy- the third girl just like I suspected for a trio of 2011 cousins. We will miss you Baby Elise but will always remember you and your cousins know they have an angel in heaven to guide them through life… they might be calling on you a lot in the teenage years! I know your short life serves a very important purpose in all of our lives and I am thankful for that.

The big girls not-wanting-another-picture-Aunt-Mary but looking appropriately somber before the funeral mass Tuesday morning

The two year old clan eating dinner on the grass (Brian just kept bringing plates of food and they devoured their favorites :)

The Monkeys-in-the-Middle three year olds with Kate being silly in the garden

The eldest cousin Ellie taking care of Oliver on the bed

Andrea snuck a picture of the kids playing dress up in Isabel and Thomas' room - there were 6 of them hiding behind the drawers under her bed at one point

Isabel and Francie telling more secrets in Izza's bed (don't ask Isabel who drew on her wall or how "boring" it is to try to clean with Oma and a MagicEraser ;)

Ellie corralling the little kids in a fort on Thomas' bed

Uncle Brian and his godson Thomas perfected the binky stealing game

Cousins at the reception at the mortuary

They never stop playing

Adorable Thomas- I'm lucky to be this little guy's godmother, he gets cuter every time I see him

Outnumbered- the three Heffernan boy grandchildren Oliver, Patrick and Thomas

Jannie holding Janie in her Dragon-state (poor Jannie missed Andrea and Craig's beautiful eulogy for Elise, she took JJ out of church and had to walk the screamer around the parking lot for half an hour)